It’s Not You, It’s Me

Not it’s not what you think – I don’t mean this in the pop culture dating sense of the expression (often used in tandem with “I can’t go out with you that night, I’m washing my hair”). Let’s look at another application for this line – as it relates to responsibility. When something goes awry, as things do from time to time (we all have temporary setbacks), how do we know whether we should accept responsibility for the current state or if we should apportion responsibility to others? The answer is easier than you might think.

A simple rule of thumb for the assumption of responsibility is that the same folks that would have received (or perhaps did receive) the credit if things went well, should also assume the responsibility for the temporary setback…and its resolution…if things didn’t go well. While the concept is easy and straightforward, the implementation and practice of the concept are not. After all, others might find out that someone made a mistake, or worse yet, performance indicators, measures of success, or other benchmarks that mean we are outstanding may not have been reached. What then?

Actually, accepting responsibility for things that go wrong is a measure of success in itself. Some of the most favorable responses and feedback I have received from others have been when I goofed up and then admitted it. (Not all of these confessions have been purposeful – sometimes I just couldn’t get out of the way). Well and then there is the part where you have to fix it if you accept responsibility.

So the question is, if you really are responsible, won’t you have to fix it anyway, whether you admit it or not? Yes. Isn’t it better to admit it then up front and take your beating early (I don’t really mean take a beating – it’s just an expression)? Yes.

My advice is to accept responsibility if it belongs to you, because it’s not me, it’s you.