Human Being vs. Human Doing

When we first meet someone, our tendency is to ask, "What do you do?" which is code for "What do you do for a living?" This is often used as an opener with new acquaintances as we look for something in common to build a conversation around, with "for a living" implied since work is usually something we all have in common, whether that work is inside or outside the home. In early times, I suppose that the primary answer was either "I hunt" or "I gather."

Sidebar: Oddly, “for a living” really means “for work.” This reaffirms a culture where some of us have gotten stuck (for years) living to work rather than working to live; and we’ve done it to ourselves.

Beyond pleasant conversation and a steroid-like fear of deafeningly awkward silences, we may be trying to find out what they do in order to figure out who they are – likes, dislikes, interests, disinterests, and of course values, the principles that guide them and their actions. From that understanding, we can get to know them and possibly develop meaningful friendships, work relationships, etc.

However, finding out who other people are may allow (insert force) us to focus on who we are, rather than what we do (for a living). Having been to a few recent retirement celebrations, I can see how it might be really scary to think about answering the “What do you do?” question. Answer: “I am retired.” Follow up question: “And?” Answer: “Well, I like to garden.” Question: “And?” Answer: “I like to read?” The answerer begins to question. “Who am I?”

With so much emphasis on what we do (for a living) and our need to provide (to make a living) for ourselves and our families, who we are can get lost (for years)…sometimes even until we retire…not knowing ourselves, or our families. That may be too late.

Get to know yourself. Get to know your family. So that when that glorious day comes, you will already be comfortable as a human being, not just a human doing.

Thanks…Giving and Receiving

While this is naturally a time for giving thanks, it is also a time to receive it. Here are a few thoughts on giving and receiving thanks.

On Giving Thanks: Not being a “glass is half empty” person and being instead a “glass is more than full and I have extra” person, being grateful for the abundance that I already have is integral to my makeup. However, appreciation for what one has isn’t the same as settling or being complacent; in fact, it encourages us to not settle. When we know what or who makes us thankful, then we know what success looks like; when we know what success looks like, we are motivated to achieve our goals in order to replicate that success. “We move toward and become like that which we think about,” shades of Investment in Excellence brought to you by Lou Tice and the Pacific Institute.

On Receiving Thanks: While being appreciated and recognized is inherently a good thing, some find the recognition difficult to accept. Okay, so some humility is also a good thing, but not receiving thanks well makes the giving of thanks difficult…and well, tedious and uncomfortable. Normally, people giving recognition are putting effort into it, so provided that it is genuine and thoughtful, just say “yes.” Thank them for their thank you if you must, but brace yourself and accept it. Receiving thanks also motivates us to achieve our goals, since most of us want to replicate what if feels like to be appreciated – another form of success to be repeated.

Thankfully, in our Finance and Administrative Services division, we incorporate opportunities to recognize each other and thank each other into our daily work lives. You can see this demonstrated in the “Thank You Notes” section of our Balanced Scorecard Connect Newsletter http://www.csusm.edu/bsc/BSCCONNECT.htm as well as our various awards and events (for which we are nearly famous). Because we have a culture of recognizing others, we also have a culture of being recognized – and that’s a good thing.

So, be grateful, be thankful, accept the recognition, and remember this week and every week, it is better to give…and to receive…thanks.

Putting Out Fires

Now that the immediate threat of the wildfires has passed, it’s time to get back to “business as usual.” Or is it? Understanding that we (people and institutions) are in our present place as a result of the paths we have traveled, I believe that the trails we blazed through the firestorm have put us in a very different place than we otherwise would be.

In the heat of moment, we were forced into a tenuous situation – forced to trust each other to perform our individual roles to the highest level possible; forced to be honest with each other when we didn’t have information, when we did have information, when we could provide help, and when we needed help; forced to communicate frankly, openly, directly, and as quickly as possible; forced to be committed to the institution …and each other. And the trickiest part is that it worked…better.

Trust, honesty, communication, and commitment – these are the elements of any relationship, professional or personal. The measure of our success that we enjoy in those relationships is a matter of the degree to which those elements exist. When faced with an emergency, when time is of the essence, they become even more critical. Cal State San Marcos survived and thrived when surviving and thriving was most at risk. Faculty, staff, students, and administration worked together in the best interests of the institution – we still had the requisite push and pull from each other that provides broad (enough) input and results in better outcomes – we didn’t lose anything by working together in this way.

So why not do this in our everyday work lives (and personal lives) such that we display this same level of trust and honesty, the same degree of communication and commitment? Could it be that we don’t know how? No, we just did it, so we know how to do it – we “know what the picture looks like fixed.” Maybe we’re taking our good fortune for granted and don’t feel a sense of urgency. Maybe we’re comfortable “playing old tapes” of how life used to be and we just don’t want to change. Maybe it’s the trust thing, upon which the honesty, the communication, and the commitment depend.

How do we get there? Perhaps we can work from the one thing that we all have in common – our commitment to the university. That can be our anchor that helps us to develop the trust we need with each other (and even give each other the benefit of the doubt occasionally). From that foundation of trust we can grow the honesty, grow the communication, and grow the commitment to each other.

In emergency operations, we plan for the emergency that we hope will never happen. We use our everyday work lives to train ourselves for the emergency. I believe that instead, we should use the emergency to train ourselves for our everyday work lives – that one week in October (our best week) can prepare us for the other 51 weeks of the year.

This storm of fire has changed us – what we thought of as “usual” or “normal” will never be the same – and that just might be a good thing.